Proof of sorcery!

I, noted historian Cid Hamet Benengeli, am aware that there are those out there reading of these adventures that pour scorn upon Knight errantry as mere romantic whimsy and fantastical adolescent delusion. Not only this, they assist this belief with doubt in the existence of all enemies of knight errantry (from which they are thanklessly protected by the likes of the Knights of St John of Jerusalem), such as dragons, sorcerors, ogres, necromancers, brutes, hippies, wicked dwarves, politicians, enchantresses, radical right-wing conservatives etc.

Well! Make thy enormous dish of humble pie and gorge thyself! See here evidence of sorcery! Sir Gomez, arriving in Bavaria, finds evidence of his coming dated prior to all knowldge of his journey. Only sorcery can explain this mystery! Observe here Gomez as he stands beneath a portrait undoubtedly of himself and predicitng his arrival.

Stare into thy crystal ball, O great enchanter!

And thus witness the destruction of all enemies of St John of Jerusalem. Brought to you by Merlin the time-travelling stealer of light and provider of things that are requested.

A Treatise on the actions of Knight-Errantry

Sir Paolo, having gallivanted around on his pony for many a year, once heard the tale of the mightiest of all Dragons, known enigmatically as 'WildHead'. At the time, Paolo's belief in the fearsome tales of this beast of all beasts contained a small parcel of doubt. However, as the years rolled by and more stories reached his ears Paolo began to be fascinated by the prospects of entering into combat with such a magnificent and rarely-defeated creature. Upon arriving in Bavaria, news reached our noble knights that the WildHead was residing nearby, and thus, Paolo ordained that our knights and their party must immediately attempt to subdue this monstrous threat to humanity. An artist's rendering of the belly of the dragon is seen here.







Upon arrival, Paolo witnessed an innocent young maid being carried off, all starry-eyed, by the beast. He cried "From the fiery jaws of the Dragon you shall be delivered!" And immediately attempted to rescue the damsel. He can be seen here, with the assistance of Merlin's wizardry clambering up the belly of the dragon in order to smite it. Unfortunately for Sir Paolo, the breath of the dragon was so fetid, its claws so strong, its scales so thick and armoured, that even the might of Sir Paolo was unable to vercome the beast. While he escaped all fingers in tact, the damsel was lost to the world for ever.

Herman Heatwave Hits

Ya ya, tiz very hot. Last five days haf bean dirty-fife degwees or more. Makes us weak, yes? Weak and tired. Then thunderstorm, we scared of being hit by lightning wearing all our armour. Must hide in caves. Not good. Soon, cool down, very good.

Mortal Combat (Rest Day Soccer Matches)

The Knights of St John of Jerusalem, known to us by the simple honorific devices of Paolo and Gomez, had not been long in the fabled lands of bavaria, whenst they occaisioned upon a company of former comrades who were akin in spirit. This foreign company had heard many a merry minstrel recite the gallant exploits of Paolo and Gomez, and were thus eager for our heroes to join their company so that their numbers would be increased. Given that their quest was devised upon similar aims, our heroes accepted their invitation. It certainly heartened paolo and Gomez, so far from their accustomed lands, to share bread with familiar fellows. This company consisted of Radioactive Wolfgang (a.k.a. Reuben Daily-Beverage), Matt ´Pierre Bollinger´ Adams, Scoots the Driver (not pictured), and Dan (Gaskins is better than Jesus) the Brit (he is is the one in grey, he he).

However, unbeknownst to paolo and Gomez, this company of antipodean misfits had raised the ire of a roving band of Viking warriors. These Northern monsters challenged the company to a jousting tourney in order to prove their martial superiority. To uphold their honour, Paolo and Gomez could not beg innocence of any dispute, and were thus forced to take part in this tournament. Indeed, once committed, our heroes relished the opportunity to unsheathe swords after much time spent journeying.

Despite being outnumbered, the side of our heroesemerged victorious, the final score being Commonwealth 10 Sweden 6. A famous victory indeed, the combat being fierce and relentless, no doubt the battleground formerly known as the Wolsberger Fussball Sportplatz shall henceforth bear a grand memorial and be known as Schwartzvikingsdoom. Paolo in particular distinguished himself during the faux-combat, scoring four strikes against his foes. Gomez, bearing wounds to his lower limbs, was less ferocious, he nevertheless made three strikes, one of which was unfortunately made upon his own side in a fit of berserker rage.

Local Wildlife

Whilst searching the forest for cantilevered rock crevices the honourable knight Sir Gomez was accosted by a pack of no less than 23 ticks. The ticks were duly slain by Gomez, who made excellent use of the form of swordplay known as the pincer movement. His technique was so proficient that he slew all 23 without a nick from their vile poisoned blades.

However, the Queen Lyme of the Ticks was so enraged at the massacre of her henchmen that unbeknownst to Gomez she sent four assasins, trained in the secret and deadly art of ninjutsu. These parasitic creatures of the night set upon our herowho is in comparison a shining light of chivalry, despite his title of knight there be not a shadow in his heart! Perhaps it is not more than this light from within which blessed him and delivered him from the poison of the four assasins. The ninja were captured and slain, their poison unable to infect the constitution of Sir Gomez, Knight of St John of Jerusalem. His wounds quickly healed, Sir Gomez was prepared to continue his quest in search of more wicked gaps to annihilate...

Noble Deeds

No doubt, eager readers, thouest wish to know how fares the quest of our noble knights. Fear not, the Knights of St John of Jerusalem have not lain idlein the meadows of Franconia, fondling local wenches and munching upon the sweet baked treats of the kitchens. Many noble deeds have been accomplished. Firstly, Paolo dismissed the Three Musketeers in one mighty blow. "Thine Holy Trinity of thy Lord was thus blessed my smiting hand" he crieth. Then he dispatched the monster known as Bastard, trained by the legendary daemon master-at-arms Jerry Moffat, in one short and ferocious day of battle.Finally, as if these feats were not sufficient, Paolo gloriously defeated the local champion Master Blaster, who resides at SCHLOSSBERGZWANDE. Gomez, upon hearing of a band of pesky midgets terrorising a local valley, sought to match the epic deeds of Paolo. Following the path of the defeated hero Berti Vogts, Gomez single-handedly stormed the Dwarf castle of Zwergenschloss, emerging with all his digits intact. He then ventured to Drachensberg, lair of a local Dragon, and defeated this dragon with nay a singed hair on his scalp.

What future conquests are possible? Only time will tell the greatness of the story of the fortunes of the Knights of St John of Jerusalem, of.

Translation

Franken = Fingers

Jura = Armageddon


Frankenjura = The end of fingers.